Eight easy steps to taking control of your life and living the life you ...

Friends, i came across this wonderful write-up on taking control of your life by?Dr. Terry Hartley, PHD. I found it live changing.?Dr. Terry Hartley has done a wonderful job at it. You can reach him at:?http://www.rulingtherulers.com/

Eight easy steps to taking control of your life and living the life you want to live

Do you lay awake at night?fantasizing?about the kind of life you wish you had? Do you feel?paralyzed?by the fear of rejection every time you have to ask someone else for something you want ? whether it?s a date, a raise, or respect for your opinions? Does your ego get?hammered?whenever others turn you down, disagree with you, or judge you?

Well, then it?s time to?get out from under the influence of asouls and take command?of your life. It?s time to employ a little-used psychological tactic to?improve?your relationships,?gainrespect,?pursue?your dream job,?earn?what you?re worth, and live the life you want to live.

As you?read every word?of this article, you will discover how to tap into your own hidden?power?to control situations in which ? up until now ? you have felt powerless and overwhelmed. You will learn how to?influence?the quality of every aspect of your life.

Fact:?The reason you aren?t achieving your heart?s desires ? is a?negative self-concept.In fact, this problem is so pervasive that nearly 150 years ago, naturalist philosopher Henry David Thoreau wrote: ?The mass of men lead lives of quiet?desperation. What is called resignation is confirmed desperation.?

You?re probably wondering why so many people just like you get shortchanged by life at the hands of a negative self-concept.

Well, the answer is simple. Asouls have blinded you to the fact that better life awaits you and convinced you that you can?t?reach out and grab it.

At the root of your self-concept are mental asouls, those soul-suckers who rob you of your essence.

Fundamental in shaping your self-concept, whether positive or negative, are your mental asouls and prosouls. These represent every person you?ve ever been exposed to. Prosouls are those who help you develop yourself; asouls, though, put you down, keep you from self-actualizing.

Whatever actions you take (or don?t take) involve your relationships with others. You can?t make a move without bumping into someone, and all those someones press and guide you in ways you can barely imagine.

You are?always?influenced by people, real or imagined. You?doremember things people say to you and what they do in response to what you say and do. And, believe it or not, you?are?swayed by other people.

You?internalize?what others say and think about you and accept their perceptions as true ? usually negative and critical ?judgments against you. These preconceived thoughts become your personal reality, giving you a poor self-concept and keeping you from being all that you can and were meant to be.

Here?s an example that will make the concept crystal clear for you:Say that you decide to improve your vocabulary. Such an improvement will help you understand complicated issues and will also give you?confidence?to talk more professionally at work. This increased confidence will naturally make you?feel better?about yourself and also?enhance?your job opportunities. It will even?open doors?for you to meet different people and?expand?your options for personal relationships.So you study a vocabulary book and learn new words and terms. But when you try to use one, you imagine the voice of a detractor from your past telling you that you sound stupid,or that you?d never get it right. You react emotionally, become embarrassed, and?collapse in a heap, accepting an asoul?s opinion as a negative judgment against you. You allow self-doubt to extinguish your dream of self-improvement and keep you from becoming the person you most want to be.

Break free from what other people say and think about you!

Does it?frustrate?you that your self-concept ? the totality of your thoughts and feelings about yourself, your very identity ? is controlled by others? Doesn?t it make you?furious?that you could actually have the best that life has to offer ? if you only knew how to get it?

What would it be worth for you to learn how to?gain freedom?from what other people say and think about you ? real or imagined ? andtake command?of your life?

You?can?shape your self-concept ? your own personal reality ? rather than allow other people to shape it for you.

Clearly, when you develop a positive self-concept, you can?masterevery facet of your life. You can have the relationships you desire, pursue your dream job, and enjoy activities you?ve always wanted to try but haven?t dared.

Obviously, mastering your self-concept ushers in a?revolutionary? and immensely more effective ? approach to managing your life.

Let me ask you a question:

Do you long to be in mutually respectful, loving, supportive relationships? What if you were involved in fulfilling, satisfying, engaging work that paid you what you think you?re worth, not what an asoul says you?re worth? What would it be like to wake up every day knowing that you have?absolutely everything?you want out of life?

You?re probably saying, ?That?ll never happen to me. That only happens to the lucky few.? Or: ?I never meet anyone I?m compatible with.? ?I don?t have the skills for a better-paying job.? ?I just have to accept the cards life has dealt me.?

You?re suffering from the influence of asouls. You don?t realize you can take control and have?most?of what you want out of life. You just have to know how to get it.

If I could show you?a way?to better your relationships, improve your employment options, achieve in every area of your life, and lead an authentic, fulfilling life, would you do it?

Of course, you would.

This approach is fundamentally different.

Now, I?m not talking about those stale, worn-out personal growth concepts you see in every self-help book and on afternoon talk shows. Those approaches are incomplete and only take you so far in your quest for a better life.

I?m talking about?eight steps?to take command of your life ? eighteasy?steps you can apply to practically any situation you want to improve. These eight steps are the core of my book,?Tyrants of Self-Concept: Ruling the Rulers or How to Deal With the Asouls in Your Life.You can improve yor life by reading my book and completing the eight workshops on your own. If you think you can?t afford it,?just give up a couple DVD movies or a carton of cigarettes. Is your life worth that?.

Bookstores and Internet sites are brimming with relationship and self-help books, so you?re probably wondering what this book has to offer that others don?t. My approach is?fundamentally differentbecause it is rooted in social psychology. Other self-help models are rooted in psychology or sociology. Here?s how my approach compares to the others:

The psychological viewpoint?focuses on the internal being and says that all your difficulties are the product of inherent?forces within you? whether you know it or not. This view treats you as an individual, isolated ?thing.?

The sociological viewpoint?focuses on society and culture as your shaping forces and leads you to recognize that?social injustices?are at the root of your problems. This view treats you as one part of many groups, as a cog on the great gears of society.

As a social psychologist, I see both perspectives as complementary. Because you are influenced by both?internal and external forces, my approach combines both philosophies into a third ??social psychology.

When you apply the eight steps described in my book, you will understand how your society and culture, social groupings, and certain individuals have helped create your internal reality and how to?control?that internal reality to improve your relationships, expand your options in all aspects of your life, and be the best possible?youyou can be.

Tyrants of Self-concept: Ruling the Rulers or How to Deal With the Asouls in Your Life?can teach you how to improve your relationships and take charge of your life through a?proven, step-by-step approach. Just take a look at what this book will show you ?

• Enrich?every relationship in your life ? whether with your spouse, significant other, parents, children, siblings, friends, coworkers, or others. You?ll discover how easy it is to?get along?with virtually anyone.
• Learn how to develop and enjoy?solid, stable relationshipsthat have substance and are founded in respect and support, rather than jump from shallow relationship to shallow relationship based on fear, competition, and manipulation.
• Uncover the?secret to maintaining and repairing?all worthwhile relationships successfully, and techniques for resolving conflict. Learn how to diffuse situations, come to agreement, and restore harmony.
• Overcome mistakes of judgment.?Develop?the ability to analyze other people?s points of view about you and?draw your own conclusions?rather than accept theirs as true.
• Understand that the way you see yourself affects the quality of your relationships, and that when you have a positive self-concept, you?influence?others and every encounter in a beneficial way.
• Learn how to?stand up?to perceptions ? real or imagined ? that put you down. When you turn your negative self-concept into a positive self-concept, the sky?s the limit.
• Come to terms with the difference between who you think you ?ought to be? and who you think you ?actually are.? This step alone can help you?overcome?unrealistic demands on yourself and feelings of guilt.
• Overcome self-destructive patterns of all kinds. Whether you have an addiction, allow people to treat you like a doormat, are the jealous type, become enraged easily, are a backstabber who mistreats people, expect perfection, always get involved with the wrong person, and the list goes on, you?ll learn how tostop repeating old mistakes?and break the cycle of poor behavior so you can get on with the business of honoring the real you.
• Learn to?take control?over situations instead of acting out emotionally or with knee-jerk reactions. Recognize that you have options instead of humbly accepting your fate. When you use your?free will?to make choices, you stop being a victim.
• Strengthen and improve yourself, gaining?confidence?and shedding feelings of self-doubt and inadequacy. Confidence opens the door to endless options ? in terms of education, employment, finances, friends, love interests ? in other words, in virtually all aspects of your life.
• Develop your own identification and?self-worth. Recognizing that you are valuable, worthy, and good, and being true to your?unique self?is fundamental to enjoying good relationships.
• Take command of your life. When you become the person you want to be, you lead a?productive, happy, fulfilling?life.

Tyrants of Self-concept: Ruling the Rulers or How to Deal With the Asouls in Your Life?also reveals my?formulas?for setting reasonable and achievable expectations and goals. When you set realistic expectations and goals, and take action to achieve them, you willchange and grow.

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